For the past few weeks, people have been literally living and dying by the CDC’s recommendations. Today, they announced their most effective plan yet in combating COVID-19.
The CDC recommends becoming an A-list celebrity and/or a tiger to increase your chances of getting tested for the virus.
“Winning 4 Golden Globes and 8 Emmys has proven to be a highly effective strategy in obtaining a coronavirus test kit,” said CDC director Robert Redfield. “It wouldn’t hurt to become a tiger or the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom, either.”
So if you’ve been waiting to become an international superstar or a tiger, now is your time. The only person standing in your way is you.
- Jacob Nuckolls, The Terminal Times
