Stoned Golf Course Groundskeeper Very Good At His Job

In a world where corporations are controlling their workforce more and more through mandatory drug tests, one place is drawing a line in the sand. Pebble Beach Golf Links in California has decided to forgo drug testing to produce a better product for their customers.

When questioned on the decision, Bill Perocchi, Pebble Beach CEO said, “Intoxication has always been a part of golf. Whether it’s millionaire businessmen doing lines of cocaine off their putters or bachelor parties drinking Natty Ice until they vomit, it’s always been there. Hell, some people even believe that scotch was invented with the sole purpose of helping the Scots shoot under par.”

When we got to the course at 10pm to meet with the overnight groundskeeper we were greeted by the sound of Grateful Dead and 27 year Old Teven Anderson hot boxing his 1998 Honda Civic. “Yeah bruh, I love this shit,” said Teven. “I never thought a chore would become a passion until I discovered herb. Like, it’s basically art. I get to make trippy ass patterns in the grass and I’m getting like $10 an hour to do it. Which is way more than I was earning giving people free henna tattoos.”

“The kid’s a natural,” said former groundskeeper Ronnie Smith. “He’s got what it takes. You can smell it on him. You can see it in his eyes. The first day I met him, I said, ‘Devin, look at all that grass out there. Grass over here… grass over there… grass… everywhere…’ It was deep. From then on, he had it.”

  • The Terminal Times 

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