CDC Confirms – COVID Obeys 5 Second Rule

Dads everywhere have debated between whether the 5 second rule is 3 seconds or 5, but they all agree – germs will wait at least a couple seconds before pouncing on a piece of dropped food. The Clean Plate Committee has backed this theory and propagated it in homes throughout the Midwest. Now, science confirms this. 

“COVID will obey the previously-proven laws of germs by waiting a respectable 5 seconds before claiming any food object as it’s own,” said CDC’s Robert Redfield, “if the food you’re eating is wearing a mask, you may even get 10 seconds.” 

He also said that if both the food and the floor is wearing a mask, there’s a good chance you can keep it there for a solid few minutes before COVID gets its germy paws all over it.

  • Jacob Nuckolls, The Terminal Times

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