QAnon has released a statement declaring foul play was involved in Hurricane Laura. They claim winds of that magnitude were generated by cannibal pedophile’s digestive tracts after a long night of feasting. They say that kind of flatulence could not come normal non-human meat.
“That kind of forceful ass-blast can only come from eating the pure blood of pizzagate children with pineapples,” said an anonymous QAnon source that described himself as a “Reddit admin-turned-doctor-turned-FBI agent-turned-crime-fighter.”
For years, QAnon has been the only thing standing between the American people and a group of elite pedophile cannibals – a group of Hollywood satanists described by QAnon as the only thing worse than vegans.
President Trump has tweeted in support of this QAnon theory saying, “Of course that kind of nasty air comes from Democrat-led cities like Chicago – the ‘windy’ city! Their pedophile farts have been lurking in the shadows for too long!!”
• Jacob Nuckolls, The Terminal Times