Too long have we worshiped in the patch of the Great Pumpkin, being tossed too and fro by pumpkin spice parables. I know many people’s first thought is, “Ugg, this again?” But hear me out!
We are all bad apples and we’ve fallen short from the tree, we have to return to the one true Gourd! It’s never too latte to repent from your sus-spice-ous behavior. We are a nation founded “Under Gourd,” and we need to return to that.
Change is in the air. Leaves behind your old way of thinking, and become new! I see this generation rising up and squashing all opposing forces and coming to trust in Cheesus Crust as their Gourd and Savior once again.
Glory to Gourd!
- Jacob Nuckolls, Terminal Times