Minnesota local Garret Wilson is absolutely livid that the cold weather has once again returned to an area of the country that he knew would be cold when he moved to it. “I just can’t believe it’s snowing,” he said, “Sure, it snows every year, but I just can’t believe it. It gets worse every time.”
Garret’s wife Claire is also suffering. “I knew it would be cold during the winter when we moved here, but this is the 6th year in a row. Really, winter? Take a year off for crying out loud. Sometimes I wish global warming would take its toll so we could go to the beach in December…”
This snow shower ruined her 3rd trip to the local Pumpkin patch to post grainy pictures of herself and her three friends with the caption: “low quality picture, high quality people.”
Garret suspects it to be a ploy by tyrannical dictator Tim Walz to keep people inside.
- Jacob Nuckolls, Terminal Times