Emperor Refuses To Admit Death Star Was Blown Up

Emperor Palpatine retweeted another video claiming that the rebellion’s “successful” destruction of the Death Star was a complete fraud. “Don’t believe everything you see on the holo,” the Emperor declared, “I can feel the anger flowing out of these mainstream news outlets.” 

Almost 3 weeks after the rebels blew up the Death Star, the Emperor still refuses to admit it. 

This is bound to make things awkward at Life Day dinner this year, as Darth Vader actually does believe the Death Star is gone. “We need immediate emergency funding to start making the exact same weapon with the exact same flaw,” Vader said behind closed Blast Doors.

However, Vader seems to be in the minority –  many of the Emperor’s other supporters have fallen in line including thousands of mindless Storm Troopers and other terrified imperial officials. Grand Moff Tarkin was unavailable to comment and hasn’t been seen since the reported incident. 

  • Jacob Nuckolls, Terminal Times

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