Ted Cruz Leads 11 Other Republican Senators In Growing Creepy Beards

Texas and Election-Fan-Fiction Author Ted Cruz is leading the pack on a growing number of elderly Republican beards. “Every American man has the right to grow a beard that will make other people uncomfortable,” said Cruz, “11 other Senators and I will be opposing the results of basic grooming.”

Although he denies it, many suspect Cruz’s beard is a result of him spending a weekend with Don Jr. Many other Trump allies are starting to grow out their facial hair. Guiliani tried to join them, but the beard melted off his face during a press conference (He, unfortunately, got it trimmed at Great Clips Hedge-Trimming Services).

When they asked Mike Pence why he doesn’t have a beard, he insisted he does and introduced them to his wife, Karen.

  • Jacob Nuckolls, Terminal Times

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