Elon Musk To Open Vape Shop On Mars In Two Months

    As a Billionaire flamethrower creator and husband of Grimes, Elon Musk is a man on a mission. What mission could be greater than opening a vapery on Mars? On Tuesday, Elon tweeted “vape shop coming soon” with a picture of an anime character. 

    From PayPal, to simulation theory to SpaceX to Tesla, Musk does everything he can to remain worshipped on atheist Reddit forums. To further his alliance with the site, he is targeting the vape demographics in the Reddit communities.(90% of Redditors use some form of electronic cigarette, ref. Forbes). 

    The products will include pictures of Neal Degrasse Tyson and paintings of Jesus riding a motorcycle shooting a flamethrower into the sky. When we caught up with him last week, he called us “cool” for some reason and hired our janitor to be a co-owner of the vapery. 

Some say Musk is starting the vapery because of Grimes, due to the fact that she looks like the human form of a Juul, and that he’s with her so he can be accustomed to martians at the vape shops he plans to open on the planet. Others say he’s doing it because of his rich hipster attitude.

    Mars will become the first non-Earth planet to legalize vaping nicotine products. 

    “Would it be immoral, to send everyone who vapes to Mars?” asked Musk, “it’s quite obvious that these people need to go.” 

Will vape shops exist in outer space by March of this year? Who knows. Did he really think we were cool? Probably not. But hey, check out Manscaped.com for some great deals on male ball trimming equipment, and use coupon code “TTimes” for free shipping and 10% off every order!

• The Terminal Times

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