Bernie Sanders: Teleporter?

On Friday, CIA began an investigation in regards to the possible teleportation/cloning abilities of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, after he appeared in 73,932 locations in a span of 24 hours. The Terminal Times

Former game-show host Donald Trump claimed the mass cloning was a result of “spirit cooking. On Parler, Trump said “Cold Bernie Sanders is using witchcraft to teleport. SHAME!”

“We take investigations into mystical powers very seriously,” said a spokesperson for the agency, “but let’s be honest- Bernie Sanders in a big coat is pretty friggin’ funny.”

• The Terminal Times

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